If 16 year-old Mandy had to chose 3 words to describe her dad they would be: annoying, embarrassing and pre-occupied.
If 35 year-old Mandy had to chose 3 words to describe her dad they would be (in no particular order): selfless, genuine and hilarious (and maybe still a little embarrassing).
I will be the first to tell you (now) that I had one amazing childhood. I didn't want for anything. I was a happy kid, adolescent and teenager. I will also tell you, and so would my father, that I didn't have a super close relationship with him then. He was and is the hardest worker I know. He dedicated his entire life to making sure that my brother and I had everything we needed and wanted. Needless to say, he wasn't home a lot. He missed lots of concerts. He missed lots of ball games. He missed things. Growing up I really thought he just missed them. He wasn't physically there. Now I know how much he really missed them.
If you ask my mother {or my husband} she would tell you that my dad and I were "cut from the same mold." I blame genetics for the reason that we butted heads during my teenage years. Now that I really know my dad as an adult, I realize how identical we actually are. I look a lot like my mother and I would like to think I have some of her best qualities, but I am a carbon copy of my dad. My personality is his. My attitude is his. My ability to hold a grudge is his. My temper is his. My worrisome mind is his. My burdened heart is his.
Just a few weeks before Christmas we were bombarded with a new word that we now use in association with dad....CANCER.
It happens quickly. There are concerns. There are appointments upon appointments. Tests upon tests. There is the confirmation that it is, indeed, cancer. There is hope because "if you're going to get cancer then this is the best kind because it's treatable." More tests. More scans. More bad news. Bad news upon bad news. Statistics. Now we use words like rare and aggressive.
Nothing can prepare you for this. Nothing can prepare your faith for this. I am here to tell you that THIS REALLY FREAKING SUCKS. In the past 2 days I have been the angriest at God that I have ever been in my entire life. I am so mad that this has happened to my dad. This man who would give anything he has to anyone who needs it. This man who is so devoted to his family. This man who carries the weight of the world on his shoulders but still offers a smile. This man who my husband calls his best friend. This man who has loved my mother for 40 years. This man who loves his grandchildren so fiercely. This man. This man who is my dad. My dad.
Here is what I know about my dad. He is strong. He is courageous. He is determined. He is not ready to go. He is a fighter. He prays. He has people praying for him.
But, here is what I know about my FATHER. He has fought this fight. He has won this war. There isn't a day ahead of us that He hasn't laid His eyes on. Whatever the outcome of this journey my dad is embarking on, I rest tonight knowing that one day we will all stand in Glory with Jesus. HEAR THIS THOUGH. It isn't easy to rest this easy. It is a battle every day not to just lay down and cry. But I cry out to Jesus. I throw my hands up to Him.
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
