The One About Friendship...

A few weeks ago, as we were leaving the nursery at church, a sweet little girl we know said, "Bye, Emma." It seems silly, but this made me all kinds of emotional.  Emma had her first friend.  It made me so excited to think about my daughter making new friends as she grows from a baby to a little girl.  I've been thinking a lot about my friends, past and present, and how they've helped me become the person, and in some cases, the mother that I am today.

It's so true that friends come and go throughout our lives, but I like to think that the ones who mattered most (at whatever stage in life) leave us with footprints, stamps, bad tattoos, scars (literally), old t-shirts, and many, many memories.  It is my prayer that my sweet little girl will be as fortunate as I have been in the friendship department.  I hope and pray everyday that she will meet the friends that bring out her fun side, the ones that hold her accountable, and the ones that God planned for her since the beginning of time.

Below is a list of all of the types of friends that I've had, and the types of friends that I hope and pray my girl meets along her journey through life. I've attempted to write it as a letter, of sorts, to my daughter, in hopes that she will one day relate to the friendships that I've had.  I hope that one day she'll know the love of the types of friends, and that she will know how much these very friends of mine love her.

In an effort to not straight up call them out by name, I've dubbed each of them with a nickname.  Since this one is about friendship, I've also given them nicknames modeled after one of my favorite shows.  (Friends fans will get it.)  I hope you each know who you are and how dear you are to me.

1.  The One You Were "Born" With: I heard a quote once about cousins.  It was something along the lines of them being our first best friends.  How true this is.  Whether your cousin/best friend is older or younger, being born in the same family at around the same time makes you instant best friends for life.  This is the best friend who knows exactly how weird your family is, because they are a part of it.  They were there to hear about your first day of school, your first kiss, your graduation, your wedding, and everything in between.  Maybe you don't get to see them as often as you'd like, but nothing changes the bond that you have with your first best friend.

2. The One Who Is Your "OLDEST" Friend: I should clarify.  This friend is probably not your oldest friend, but she's the one you've known the longest.  You journeyed through the ups and downs of junior and senior high school together.  You might have even went to college together, which was where the real fun started.  She could be the complete opposite of who you are, but that could also be what has drawn you to one another for over 20 years of friendship.  She keeps you up-to-date on fashion trends, she signs you up for 5K's that you don't want to do, makes you wear ridiculous shoes at her wedding (you were probably even there the night she met her future husband), but she would give you the shirt off of her back if you needed it.  She came back home after college, like you did, and you've enjoyed watching each other grow into adulthood.

3.  The One Who God Knew You Needed: You probably call this person your "soul mate." You probably met her at a time when your paths were destined to cross.  You probably had no idea how alike you were, or how different.  You probably had no idea the things you would go through, together and personally.  You probably had no idea that this person would pull you from the deepest, darkest times in your life, simply by being there.  You probably hope you did this for her too, when she needed it.  When you look back on the course of your friendship, you will know that God put her straight in your path, and you in hers.  And your life has been so much better because of that.

4. The One Who Is Your Person: Although you likely met her well into adulthood, you still know how to have a good time together.  She's seen you through your career, the end of relationships and the beginning of new ones, and most importantly, she's been alongside you through the journey into motherhood.  She's seen you at your absolute worst, but she always reminds you of when you've been your best.  She holds you accountable.  She knows what you're thinking.  She knows what you'll say before you even say it.  You can pass a look (maybe at a staff meeting) and she knows exactly what you're saying. She is your rock.  She is a forever friend.  Hold onto her.

5. The One Who Married Your Sibling: God bless this girl (or guy, if you don't have any brothers). This person became possessed married your sibling.  She fits into your family like she was always supposed to be there.  She loves your children.  She helped make you an aunt for the first time. She doesn't get grossed out when your dad does weird stuff.  She goes on shopping trips with you.  She supports and encourages you.  But most importantly, this person is the one your sibling chose to do life with, and you love them simply because your brother or sister loves them.

6.  The One Who Knows What It's Like To Live With Your Husband:  This friend knows what it's like to live with your husband, because she suffered through it did it as a child. You were probably worried the first time you met her, but ever since then, friendship with her has been easy.  Hopefully, you have more in common with her than you ever imagined.  Hopefully she appreciates you and treats you like you were always supposed to be a part of her family.  She will love your children like they are her own.  She will not be afraid to tell your husband like it is.  She will be a part of your theme wedding without question. She will go on wine-tasting trips with you.  She'll be someone that you would have probably been friends with, even if you didn't marry her brother.

7.  The One Who Is Your Mama: Dear girl, I know what is in store for us.  One day you will be a teenager and you will think that I am the biggest idiot to ever live.  I know this, because this is how I felt about your Nana from about 1996-2001 (give or take a few years). I know that we will have our issues and our differences, but I will never, ever think you are anything but amazing.  I hope and pray that one day you will think of me like I think of your Nana.  She's gone from being the person I thought  understood me least of anyone to the person I trust with my most deepest wishes, dreams, secrets and prayers.  I know that your Nana is the one I can turn to with anything.  She will listen with love instead of judgment.  She will give advice when she thinks it's best, but sometimes she will just listen, and that will be all I need.  I pray every single day that I will one day share this friendship with you.

8.  The One You Are Married To: Out of all of these types of friends, this one is the most important.  I hope that you meet this man at a point in your life when you're ready for the depths that this friendship will go to.  I hope that you begin a friendship first, which you may very quickly realize is so much more.  I hope and pray that he will treat you like the gift from God that you are.  I hope that he keeps you grounded and holds you accountable.  I hope that he confides in you about everything.  I hope that he is the best friend you've ever had, because that is the way it should be.  Last of all, I hope for your sake, and especially his, that your daddy likes him.  A lot.

Friendship is one of the most important parts of my life.  I could write paragraphs for so many more friends that have blessed my life.  Friends shape our lives at every stage.  Sometimes it takes looking back on life to realize that, but it happens all the same.  I am so thankful that I have these friendships. I can't wait for my sweet girl to know the joy of a best friend.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV)

Evergreen...Eventually

**Yesterday my dearest friend Kelly asked me if I had been blogging lately.  I told her no, because I hadn't had anything to inspire a blog lately.  Her reply was, "Umm.  That's odd." What can I say? The girl knows me.  I told her that I guessed I would just wait until the s@!# hit the fan before I wrote another blog.  Well folks, the s$#@ has indeed hit the van. So, without further delay, this one is for you Kelly!**

Several months ago, Bradley and I decided that we were ready for a new home.  We first debated on the build/buy issue.  After lots of thoughtful consideration, we decided that we would buy now, have more babies, save more money, end poverty, save the world, adopt homeless animals, find a house plan that we could agree on, and then we would build our forever dream house.  Honestly, I just wasn't sure that our marriage could stand the true test that is building a home together.  Then again, maybe I just wasn't sure Bradley would survive.

I was happy that we decided to buy.  Choosing floor plans and light fixtures and toilet seats (oh my!) is just not my jam.  Through a Luckey family friend, we met our absolutely incredible realtor.  (If you'd like his name, I will happily share it, but I think I'll leave him out of my rant...er, blog.)  This poor man had his work cut out for him from Day 1.  To say that my husband is high maintenance when it comes to certain things would not do it justice.  Buying a house, as it turns out, really brings out the diva in Mr. Luckey.  He was constantly on the phone with our realtor or sending emails with lists of multiple houses that we'd like to see ASAP.  This man took us to at least 20 houses over the course of a few short weeks.  Like two weeks, poor guy.  He made our schedule work, he dealt with our never-ending tardiness and he even held Emma when we had to take her along to see houses.

We had all but given up hope.  I would love a house that Bradley would hate, and vice versa.  It just wasn't working out.  We had decided that we would continue living in The Shack at Beard Avenue, which is what I decided to start calling it, and we would go back to the search for a house plan so that we could build.  I like to think that I possess quite a few highly-favored virtues, but patience has never been one of them.  The thought of searching for a house plan and then getting bids from builders and then waiting for the house to be built was just not appealing to me at all.  

Obviously, my God knows that I am not a patient woman.  Just when we'd given up hope, someone posted a link on Facebook to a home for sale in Trinity.  There was even a video tour.  I looked at it several times.  It was old.  Like, really old.  But it was charming.  It had land.  It was in the school district that we wanted to be in.  Reluctantly, I showed the listing to Bradley.  He didn't hate it either.  Quite the contrary, he loved it.  He was ready to make an offer before even seeing the house.  We called our realtor right away and made an appointment to see the house on Saturday.  As I've come to find out now, we almost didn't get to see the house because there were so many showings already scheduled.

Another virtue that I am not necessarily ready to write a book on is optimism.  My proverbial glass is perpetually half-empty. In two days time, I allowed myself to list all of the negatives about this house before I even laid eyes on it.  It was old.  It wasn't brick.  It was old.  It would be a money pit. It was old.  It was too far from civilization.  It was old.  You get the idea.  I had my mind made up that I was going to hate this house.  Bradley was already in love with it.  This was going to be bad.

Saturday arrived.  We saw the house.  I really saw the house. I didn't see it for everything that it was, but everything that it could be....would be, if we made it our home.  So we did.  We made an offer that night, and by Monday morning we were officially under contract.  We closed on March 31st and were officially the proud owners of the Farmhouse at Evergreen and The Shack at Beard Avenue.

We, meaning Bradley, immediately left the closing attorney's office and went to start pulling up carpet.  We found beautiful heart pine floors underneath dirty carpet.  Thank you, Jesus! The day we closed, our "floor guy" came and started his initial estimate of repairs/replacements of the flooring.  He gave us an estimate, we paid a deposit, replacement floor was ordered and life at Evergreen seemed imminent.  We hired a painter to paint over the rainbow of colors in the Evergreen house.  Y'all  know I love rainbows, but this house needed to be painted.  She started and finished in a week and half.  It looks like a new house, beautifully painted in perfect colors just waiting for a family to get there and love it....

Which (finally) leads me to the s*!@ hitting the fan.  Apparently, flooring doesn't just manifest itself when needed.  There are steps.  Seeking out the right wood, sending it to be milled, delivering said milled wood, and then allowing it to sit in the home for 3 weeks to, get this....acclimate to the environment.  If there were a pile of wood sitting on the floor at our new home, I wouldn't be writing this blog.  We are nearing the 2 month mark since closing and there is no pile of wood at my house.  We have been assured it will be there Monday.  We shall see.

One of the (virtues?) I do happen to possess is eagerness.  Maybe over-eagerness? Once we went under contract, I started packing.  I packed up things that I knew we wouldn't need.  (We have had to open approximately 12 boxes to retrieve things that I knew we wouldn't need).  The Shack at Beard Avenue is tiny for 3 people.  Add boxes everywhere and two useless dogs and things get hectic.  Needless to say, my over-eagerness has caused a lot of overstressed people in our house to be thrusted to their wits end.

I whine about all of these things to get to my point.  We will have our house at Evergreen...eventually.  It will be everything we dreamed of and more...eventually.  We will sell The Shack at Beard Avenue...eventually.  Eventually, this little house that was Emma's first home will be someone else's.  Eventually, these boxes will be unpacked, a house will be made a home, and we will find new things to stress about, because that's what we do.  Eventually, we will be making new memories and forget all about the time in between; the dot, dot, dots... (The ... is actually called an ellipsis, which I have had to explain to my husband/blog editor multiple times.)

When my stress seems like it will boil over at any moment, I promise to read this blog and remind myself that God is our provision at all times.  He provides us with a home to keep us safe through our dot, dot, dots. He provides us with family to love us through our dot, dot, dots.  He provides us with sunshine and Nana's swimming pool to survive our dot, dot, dots.  He provides us with promise of something that we never dreamed of, but something that He knew all along.  He is the start.  He is the finish.  He is everything that doesn't need to be said.  He is our dot, dot, dots.

"The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride." Ecclesiastes 7:8

This is CAT. She came with the house :)


Thanks for this, my sweet Kelly!