The One About Friendship...

A few weeks ago, as we were leaving the nursery at church, a sweet little girl we know said, "Bye, Emma." It seems silly, but this made me all kinds of emotional.  Emma had her first friend.  It made me so excited to think about my daughter making new friends as she grows from a baby to a little girl.  I've been thinking a lot about my friends, past and present, and how they've helped me become the person, and in some cases, the mother that I am today.

It's so true that friends come and go throughout our lives, but I like to think that the ones who mattered most (at whatever stage in life) leave us with footprints, stamps, bad tattoos, scars (literally), old t-shirts, and many, many memories.  It is my prayer that my sweet little girl will be as fortunate as I have been in the friendship department.  I hope and pray everyday that she will meet the friends that bring out her fun side, the ones that hold her accountable, and the ones that God planned for her since the beginning of time.

Below is a list of all of the types of friends that I've had, and the types of friends that I hope and pray my girl meets along her journey through life. I've attempted to write it as a letter, of sorts, to my daughter, in hopes that she will one day relate to the friendships that I've had.  I hope that one day she'll know the love of the types of friends, and that she will know how much these very friends of mine love her.

In an effort to not straight up call them out by name, I've dubbed each of them with a nickname.  Since this one is about friendship, I've also given them nicknames modeled after one of my favorite shows.  (Friends fans will get it.)  I hope you each know who you are and how dear you are to me.

1.  The One You Were "Born" With: I heard a quote once about cousins.  It was something along the lines of them being our first best friends.  How true this is.  Whether your cousin/best friend is older or younger, being born in the same family at around the same time makes you instant best friends for life.  This is the best friend who knows exactly how weird your family is, because they are a part of it.  They were there to hear about your first day of school, your first kiss, your graduation, your wedding, and everything in between.  Maybe you don't get to see them as often as you'd like, but nothing changes the bond that you have with your first best friend.

2. The One Who Is Your "OLDEST" Friend: I should clarify.  This friend is probably not your oldest friend, but she's the one you've known the longest.  You journeyed through the ups and downs of junior and senior high school together.  You might have even went to college together, which was where the real fun started.  She could be the complete opposite of who you are, but that could also be what has drawn you to one another for over 20 years of friendship.  She keeps you up-to-date on fashion trends, she signs you up for 5K's that you don't want to do, makes you wear ridiculous shoes at her wedding (you were probably even there the night she met her future husband), but she would give you the shirt off of her back if you needed it.  She came back home after college, like you did, and you've enjoyed watching each other grow into adulthood.

3.  The One Who God Knew You Needed: You probably call this person your "soul mate." You probably met her at a time when your paths were destined to cross.  You probably had no idea how alike you were, or how different.  You probably had no idea the things you would go through, together and personally.  You probably had no idea that this person would pull you from the deepest, darkest times in your life, simply by being there.  You probably hope you did this for her too, when she needed it.  When you look back on the course of your friendship, you will know that God put her straight in your path, and you in hers.  And your life has been so much better because of that.

4. The One Who Is Your Person: Although you likely met her well into adulthood, you still know how to have a good time together.  She's seen you through your career, the end of relationships and the beginning of new ones, and most importantly, she's been alongside you through the journey into motherhood.  She's seen you at your absolute worst, but she always reminds you of when you've been your best.  She holds you accountable.  She knows what you're thinking.  She knows what you'll say before you even say it.  You can pass a look (maybe at a staff meeting) and she knows exactly what you're saying. She is your rock.  She is a forever friend.  Hold onto her.

5. The One Who Married Your Sibling: God bless this girl (or guy, if you don't have any brothers). This person became possessed married your sibling.  She fits into your family like she was always supposed to be there.  She loves your children.  She helped make you an aunt for the first time. She doesn't get grossed out when your dad does weird stuff.  She goes on shopping trips with you.  She supports and encourages you.  But most importantly, this person is the one your sibling chose to do life with, and you love them simply because your brother or sister loves them.

6.  The One Who Knows What It's Like To Live With Your Husband:  This friend knows what it's like to live with your husband, because she suffered through it did it as a child. You were probably worried the first time you met her, but ever since then, friendship with her has been easy.  Hopefully, you have more in common with her than you ever imagined.  Hopefully she appreciates you and treats you like you were always supposed to be a part of her family.  She will love your children like they are her own.  She will not be afraid to tell your husband like it is.  She will be a part of your theme wedding without question. She will go on wine-tasting trips with you.  She'll be someone that you would have probably been friends with, even if you didn't marry her brother.

7.  The One Who Is Your Mama: Dear girl, I know what is in store for us.  One day you will be a teenager and you will think that I am the biggest idiot to ever live.  I know this, because this is how I felt about your Nana from about 1996-2001 (give or take a few years). I know that we will have our issues and our differences, but I will never, ever think you are anything but amazing.  I hope and pray that one day you will think of me like I think of your Nana.  She's gone from being the person I thought  understood me least of anyone to the person I trust with my most deepest wishes, dreams, secrets and prayers.  I know that your Nana is the one I can turn to with anything.  She will listen with love instead of judgment.  She will give advice when she thinks it's best, but sometimes she will just listen, and that will be all I need.  I pray every single day that I will one day share this friendship with you.

8.  The One You Are Married To: Out of all of these types of friends, this one is the most important.  I hope that you meet this man at a point in your life when you're ready for the depths that this friendship will go to.  I hope that you begin a friendship first, which you may very quickly realize is so much more.  I hope and pray that he will treat you like the gift from God that you are.  I hope that he keeps you grounded and holds you accountable.  I hope that he confides in you about everything.  I hope that he is the best friend you've ever had, because that is the way it should be.  Last of all, I hope for your sake, and especially his, that your daddy likes him.  A lot.

Friendship is one of the most important parts of my life.  I could write paragraphs for so many more friends that have blessed my life.  Friends shape our lives at every stage.  Sometimes it takes looking back on life to realize that, but it happens all the same.  I am so thankful that I have these friendships. I can't wait for my sweet girl to know the joy of a best friend.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV)