Candidly Quarantined...and It's OKAY!!!

Disclaimer: This blog is in NO WAY meant to belittle the situation we find ourselves in as a nation.  I hold in the highest regard those who make the daily decisions about how our state and country should attempt to navigate through these unprecedented times. I have the utmost respect and pride in those first responders and health care workers dealing with this pandemic on the front lines. Finally, I have spent time deep in prayer for those suffering from this illness. Please do not see this blog as more than what it is, which is hopefully just a way to find some light and laughter in these uncertain times.

I've been a wife and a mother for some time now, so I'm basically an expert on all things marriage and parenthood. In my expert opinion, quarantine is COMPLETELY AND TERRIBLY AWFUL! So now that we've gotten that out of the way, I'd like to offer you some tidbits for surviving these trying times.

1. IT'S OKAY to skip home schooling for a day. Even if you hold a degree in education 🙋🙋, teaching your own child is sort of like that one year when you had all of "those" kids and your teaching assistant was on maternity leave and there was no money for a sub and they rolled out some new curriculum that required iPADS and PODS and you had to learn 14 new acronyms for "teaching strategies" and you were required to PLC every week and they were probably going to move you to first grade the next year anyway. If you don't hold an education degree, teaching your own children is probably a nightmare. It's okay to not be a teacher, feel like a teacher or act like a teacher.

2. IT'S OKAY to LOVE all of this time home with your children. Chances are, you've been working your tail off their entire lives and having them home with you is a celebrated and cherished time, even in these circumstances. Even if you're a SAHM (stay-at-home mom, your new acronym for the day) it's okay to continue loving this time with your kids and savoring each new memory made.

3. IT IS ALSO OKAY to not feel any of the above mentioned in #2. If you're a working mother, you are used to getting up and getting it done. You're missing your routine and your normal way of life. You may be worrying about how to financially survive the next few weeks or months and that is so stressful. Having your children home on top of all of that is wrecking you. It's okay. If you're a SAHM, it's still okay to not love this. If you stay home with your children full time you know what a hard job that is. On a normal day, you're able to get out of the house to find something for your children to do or you're able to send them to preschool for a few hours in the morning. Now, you're literally stuck at home with your children and probably a spouse on top of it. It's okay to not love all of that together time.

4. IT'S OKAY to break your "screen time" rules. Are there other things you could do to keep your kids occupied? Sure. Do you want to live in filth and never eat or shower? Of course not. It's OKAY to let them watch a little more tv than normal...whatever your normal is. I am about one episode of Cory Carson away from losing my EVER LOVING MIND, but I showered today...and that's a good thing. It's okay.

5. IT'S ALSO OKAY to not immediately turn into Marie Kondo on Day 3 of quarantine. Just because that one girl you're friends with on Facebook (because she was your college roommate's second cousin) is selling her entire living room to "simplify" does not mean that you need to sell all of your possessions on Facebook Marketplace. First of all, no one wants your old crap. Second of all, this is not a "simple" time in your existence. It's okay to let the house work go for a day. You've got nowhere to go tomorrow anyway.

6. IT'S OKAY to fall in love with Amazon all over again. If you can splurge on arts and crafts and outdoor toys and those new movies on demand, go for it. If you can't...it's okay. These times are difficult. It's easy to find comfort in frivolous spending, but I promise you, it won't get you where you want to be. If you have to think twice before you click "add to cart," then just don't. These times will pass and I promise you, you're kid won't remember what movies they got to watch during quarantine or what things you bought them.

7. IT IS NOT OKAY to compare yourself to people who seem like they've got this quarantine situation licked. They don't. They are holding it together the best they can, just like you are. It's okay to roll your eyes when you read their posts. It's also okay to do the fun things they share. It's okay. You're okay. You're kids are okay. This is not a competition of Survivor. It's life. People are annoying. It's okay. They are surviving the best they can, just like you are.

8. IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY. This is a weird time to be alive. It's okay to feel all of the feelings...happy, sad, angry, broken. It's okay. If you need to express those things, find a confidant. I guarantee you it's ANYONE you keep in normal contact with right now. They need to hear from you, just like you need to hear from them. If you really aren't okay, you know it. Reach out.

9. IT IS NOT OKAY to forget about your normal life things that keep you sane and balanced. If your church is offering some online churching...watch it! Hear it! Believe it! So you can't watch it Sunday? Watch it later. Watch last week's sermon this week. Just watch it. We serve a God who forgives. Be forgiven, but also be faithful. If you've forgotten what it's like to lean on God and feel that "lean in" in return...what better time than right now?

So, this is hard. But, it's okay. When we are all at  the end of our lives and looking back on this brief (because it will seem that way then) time, this will not be the hardest thing we've ever done. We have this time at home with our kids and it's either great or exhausting or both, but one day we will see them graduate, go to college or work and get married. That's hard. One day we will say goodbye to parents and spouses and loved ones. That's hard. 

When we think about our current set of  circumstances, it seems hard, but it is merely an inconvenience to most of us. A time in our lives when we had to hit pause. A time in our lives that didn't make a lot of sense. A time in our lives that was scary. But a time that God saw us through...and out of.

I leave you with the words of Jesus Christ himself. Nearing the end of his own life, he wanted only to comfort those who had followed him most devoutly, his disciples.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27